Labor Day Weekend Epiphany.
For the second Labor Day Weekend together with my slave, I made plans for us to go to a gay resort in Wisconsin. We were to meet friends of ours from Chicago at the resort, and share a cabin. Just as IML had ushered in that hot, steamy summer, the weekend in Wisconsin was to put closure on the summer. The plan was to stay Saturday and Sunday nights, and return home on Monday. I’m usually pretty focused on schedule, but on the morning of our trip up to Wisconsin I had taken a more laid back approach. Our friends were already up there, so the cabin was secured and we could arrive anytime that day. With that sense of freedom about our travel timetable, I had the luxury of playing with my slave before the trip.
On more than one occasion, and for several months, I had been exploring the concept of the submissive top. I didn’t realize it then, but I would subsequently meet a boy who self-identified as a submissive top, but during the months leading up to our Labor Day Weekend trip it still seemed like a new concept to me. I knew of my slave’s past relationships, and I was aware that he was capable of fucking a tight hole, in spite of the fact that he had been doing little of it since I claimed him. I had been toying with the idea of pressing my slave into service to me by fucking me. This wasn’t something that I approached casually or without a lot of thought. Before I could even entertain the possibility, I had to work through the idea that even though he would be fucking me, that I was still in charge, still Boss. Maybe I don’t get out enough, or perhaps it was my own insecurity that made it hard for me to wrap my brain around the idea that a slave could fuck his master without somehow altering the balance of power.
For most of the previous 23 years I had been what I consider a “total top,” with some rare exceptions. In my first long-term relationship, which spanned seven years, my partner had fucked me maybe four or five times, tops. In my second long-term relationship, which lasted nine years, not even once. Between 1995 and 2006 I can recall taking a dick up my ass one time. Truth be known, I never enjoyed getting fucked for 23 years. It was never enjoyable for me, and I never really sought to be on bottom very much. There was that and the tendency for guys to take one look at me and assume I was a top man. As I began to get inked and pierced, more leathered, and to shave my head, that kind of assumption became even more common.
So it took quite a lot of thought to arrive at a place where I could feel that I would still be in the driver’s seat if I had my slave fuck me. I had discussed it with my slave that summer on more than one occasion, but it was more of a mental exercise than prelude to the event—at least I thought so. The way I see it, after all of the mental preparation, what it came down to was my need to feel secure enough in my dominance over my slave to have him serve me by fucking me. By the Saturday morning of that Labor Day Weekend, I felt the time had come. I was ready. I was not 100% certain that it would not somehow alter the balance of power, but I felt confident enough to give it a try.
As was often the case at my place, the sling was already set up. And that was where I wanted to have my slave fuck me—in the sling. It felt a little odd to contemplate being in the sling, where I had put so many boys since I acquired it at IML of the previous year. But there I was, approaching it with some trepidation, but resolved to do it. I showered and felt sufficiently clean. I put on my harness, my leather arm band on the left, and my Carolina combat boots. I pre-lubed my ass, and put on the wrist and ankle restraints myself. My slave had put a towel down on the floor under the sling, and put on some music. He had selected one of the SIRIUS radio channels that features edgier, metal music. I often choose the same type of music myself to heighten the intensity of a scene or play session.
With everything in place, all that was left to do was take the plunge, so to say. I got into the sling, and was able to secure the first wrist restraint to the chain support myself. Of course, once one wrist was restrained, I could not do the other wrist. So my slave secured the other wrist and my ankles. He helped me adjust my position in the sling. There was need to adjust the height, since the sling was set for me doing the fucking, not him. With all of the adjustments completed, I told my slave that I was ready. I had him give me some poppers to help loosen my hole up. I tried to relax, in spite of the anticipation and mild anxiety. My slave lubed up his cock, got it nice and hard. I think I’ve mentioned before that he is about 8 inches, cut, and thick. That was quite a bit for my lightly used hole to handle, but I was ready to take it.
With me poppered up, and him rock hard, he first penetrated my hole with the head of his cock, and then slid all the way in to the base. That was quite an eye-opening experience. Me being me, I didn’t complain or tell him to pull out. I made some noise. Some groaning came from deep within me, and my breathing became very deep as well. I often put a ball gag in a boy’s mouth, but for myself I had chosen a towel that one of the bartenders at the Eagle had given us that summer. I bit down on the towel as my slave slid slowly in and out of my very tight, pink hole. Having my slave inside me was everything I thought it would be, and more. I felt deeply connected to him, and realized very quickly that he was not so much just fucking me, but making love to me. My slave was communicating with me in a very personal, intimate way, and it was good.
As my slave thrust his thick cock into my hole, I worried less about time, and became lost in the pleasure and pain of it. And it was definitely both pleasure and pain I was experiencing. It really did hurt, but in a good, no, great way. I kept biting down on the towel as he increased the intensity of his thrusts into me. There were some points at which I didn’t think I could take it anymore, but in much the same way that I work through the pain of a tattoo gun on my skin, I went with it, embraced it, and tried not to fight it. There is a very fine line between pleasure and pain, and when it comes to the sensations associated with taking another man’s cock, they’re essentially one and the same.
I was sweating like a pig, biting down on the towel, grunting and groaning with pleasure, when I sensed my slave was getting close. I dropped the towel and said, “Fuck your master, fuck your master, fuck your master.” And then, “Good boy.” I looked into my slave’s eyes, studied his face, and I knew what was about to happen. I could feel the head of his dick and his PA deep inside me, and then as my slave let out deep, throaty sounds of manly pleasure, I could feel his hot load filling my guts. It was only the second time anyone had ever cum in my ass, so the sensation was somewhat foreign to me, but a huge turn on. The feeling of warmth and fullness was incredibly arousing, as was the soreness of my ass. After my slave pulled out, I had him release my wrists from the restraints, and I jacked my cock. It only took a few strokes to bring myself off. I shot my load all over my stomach and chest.
I told my slave to help me out of the sling by releasing my ankles and giving me a hand to grab onto so I could hop out. Once I was back on my feet, I gave him a kiss and held him. It was too soon to process what I had just experienced, but my initial response was completely positive. My slave had served me in a new way, and our connection was deeper than ever. Neither my authority, nor my dominance had been diminished in any way. I was still the Boss.
Within a couple of months of that day I would meet a master who had his slave fuck him routinely. What seemed like such a novel idea to me, was for him pretty much business as usual. Looking back on that morning, I realize that it was a watershed event for me. For most of my gay life, I had never enjoyed getting fucked. After all those years, it was my slave who showed me that I could.
After I finally let my slave go, I gave him another kiss. I realized what time it was, and said that we need to get on the road. We dressed and packed the car for our trip to Wisconsin. For the four hours or so we would spend on the road, I would savor the sensations I felt in my ass, and reflect on what had just happened between me and my slave. As we drove to the resort I was acutely aware of my slave’s semen inside me, and was careful not to let any of it leak out. This would not be the last time that my slave served me in this way.
oh my, i luv it, the fact that u let your slave fuck u, and how u were still the dominant one, and how your slave was not just fucking u, he was making love to u, and the fact he’s got an 8″ penis, wow, he is not only hot as hell, he is also well hung, what a slave, he didn’t even try to take control of u, he still let u dominate him, he really loves being your slave, doesn’t he, and u loved letting your slave fuck u, i want to hear more of him fucking u, great posting.
“Reflections on the intense erotic bonds that I have formed with other men involving power imbalance and inequality”
Hmmm… as i read your writings– and I’m always doing so with an increase in saliva, a pool of pre-cum on the floor, and a sense of being led by syncronicity to where i belong– i respectfully challenge You to rethink the above description on your blog– particularly power imbalance and inequality.
Maybe it’s just semantics or perspective, but power between 2 or more people– except for physical incarceration or emotional duress such as threat of death which is another kettle of fish entirely– is ALWAYS SEEKING to be in balance and WILL reach equilibrium, just as chemical reaction does.
It is a chicken and egg thing… an exchange that is beyond the descriptors of “stronger” or “weaker”, e.g. inequality. When done responsibly, my hypothesis is that it is a win-win and that equilibrium is pure bliss. To an outside observer it might LOOK imbalanced, but it’s not. In fact, one could argue a strong case that subs have ultimate control: They have the ability to say “No”, just as women do. When that’s not respected or renegotiated, trust erodes and fear invades (fear being the opposite of love). In our societal/legal world, it is called Rape and Abuse.
That is COMPLETELY different from the (lowercase) HOT rape of your slave by Gaius (sp?)which was a pre-cum dripping, hot scene of sex, trust, and your slave’s submission to be used sexually by someone for YOUR pleasure. He was trusting that you were there (as you were) and would “protect” or “take care of” him… or were 100%+ sure you’d really been “in the head” (to use your wonderful phrase)and vetted his rapist. Fuck that was a hot story and i can’t wait to read the next part of his return story once lawboy arrives!
As a submissive bottom, that is core level of exchange with a dominant top: My pleasure is pleasing him and all my senses are focused on him and his body for feedback. Using a blowjob as an example, both my hands are on him– both pleasing him and gathering data. Are his nipples erect, does he have goose-bumps? What’s his heart rate doing? His temperature? Touch doesn’t stop there… Are his balls tightening up? [If so, time to change technique to keep him edged] Is he wanting a different position by using his hands?
Eyes– not particularly important unless he wants me to be looking up at him every so often. Or he may want zero eye contact at ALL. Or he may blindfold me to heighten my other senses in gathering data to use in pleasing him.
Hearing.. I can hear his breath, his exclamations, his directions. Smell… I can inhale the scent of his sweating crotch as my nose is repeatedly buried in his pubes. Taste… Is he leaking precum and at what rate? It goes on and on forever until HE can’t last any longer. My focus is 100% on pleasing him, gathering that data, and using it to better please him.
What do I get from the experience? A level of focus where time literally stops, almost like a meditation. HE is in charge and i no longer have to be. i have zero decisions to make, if my phone rings or the house catches on fire, he’ll decide what– if anything to do and tell me. Until then, I can just focus on pleasing him… or his buddy- where my goal becomes making the first guy proud of me AND pleasing his buddy. Trust is implicit in all this and, yes, i know i’m a cocksucker. Does that make me any less of a man in my eyes? Nope. In the eyes of a great Top? Nope, it felt great! And more than that, he’s shared his most private possession with me– his sperm, had me hold and taste and savor it… memorizing the flavor so i will crave more… and then finally swallowing every drop when told to.
But i digress… and apologize. Back to women in society: Both historically and today, those observant enough KNOW that women run the world through their husbands as proxy– especially the higher up the socio-economic status one goes. Heather Mills as an exception, few realize though that they have it and far fewer are unselfish enough to learn how to wield it beyond their little suburban world.
Tiffany’s, Godiva, Cartier would be out of business if women had no power. The economy would collapse. There, the equation is simple: I want what I want or you’re not getting any pussy from me at the best to we’re going to have hell on earth and a nasty divorce at worst.
Where would Christianity have gone had the early Catholic Church not been smart enough to raise the stature and recognition of Mary– going so far to “re-make” her as “The Mother of God”? No where. Absolutely no where close to the historical importance and power is has held.
So, in re-thinking your blog sub-title, i’m too inexperienced and don’t know you well enough to even consider what could be better.
My lame, verbose, anything but succinct attempt yielded this:
Reflections on My experiences exploring the infinite and intensely erotic undercurrents of masculinity, power exchange, control, and trust within the context of sex– whether using them personally or remotely solely for My own sexual/mental gratification and pleasure… or forming mutual deeper emotional bonds through other men sexually, mentally, and emotionally as an intrinsic DOM.
Finally your posting here about having a Top slave is fascinating. Families of men of legal age and consent could come in any construct I realize– with the right men (again, that power thing to say no, lol). Moreover, your writing is superb– intelligent, honest and direct, and not only turns me on like nothing else… but piques by intellect, curiosity, and has me wonder “what if” beyond my status quo in a way comparable to the ancient Sirens of mythology: Excitement. Trepidation. Fear. Desire. Needing guidance. Curiosity.
Ya’ll have a great day and thanks again for your consistent, thought-provoking, mind-opening, and simply HOT postings!
Best!
P.S. Might i offer feedback on Your new design layout/format, Sir? Simply put, it rocks! Great job and I love the “read more” links especially.
My only constructive feedback for improvement is that i’m having a very difficult time reading it as it truly strains my eyes.
i’d guess You like the black background and, honestly, so do i.
Might it be possible to lighten the gray font color to like 10% black, increase the font size and maybe bold everything, using bolded italics for where you use bold now? The edges of letters on the bold are far more readable that then regular. If You’ll indulge me a moment of playful sarcasm, would you please consider making it as readable as the Terms and Conditions on a credit card offer? As it is now, it’s readability visually is on par with a manufacturers medication insert that unfolds to about 2 feet by 1 inch and has more words that an issue of The Economist on it. Cheers and thanks for the consideration! 
boy damien,
again, thank you for the feedback. I have no doubt that my slave loves me, and that regardless everything I have said and written about his enslavement being permanent, irreversible, inescapable, the truth of the matter is that the laws of this country prohibit true slavery. thus, his status as my slave is consensual. if he really wanted to be free, he could find a way to flee. but that is the beauty of consensual enslavement—a slave stays because he loves and respects his master, not because he is held in captivity. My slave, in particular, has stated that if he had a master who abused him, a master he could not respect, then he would find ways to hurt that master and flee from him. I rule not with an iron fist, but by earning my slave’s love, respect, and loyalty. those things are far stronger than chains.
sub-boy,
wow. what can I say? I appreciate the time and thought you put into your latest comments.
you are absolutely right about power imbalance looking one way to an outsider, but the reality being more complex, closer to that equilibrium you mention. this ties in with what I wrote to damien in response to his comment (above). my slave is where he is because he wants to be, and yes, like a woman, he can (and does) say no. sometimes he convinces me that I am wrong, for whatever reason, and I reevaluate something as a result. a slave has a great deal of power in a BDSM relationship, and anyone who thinks otherwise is fooling himself.
I too enjoyed the Gaius (you have the spelling correct) slave rape scene. Truth be known, I find Gaius very attractive, and like the man. unfortunately, he has some interests that send me packing, so the night that he tag-teamed my slave with me was the last time he visited. lawboy interrupted what would appear to be our last play session together.
you are a cocksucker, and an intelligent one at that. I consider that word a term of endearment when I use it to address a boy or slave, just as I do “bitch,” “pussy boy,” and “faggot.” these are all words that I use to emphasize and acknowledge a boy’s submissive nature, which I think is a beautiful thing. if there weren’t submissives around, who would take care of all the doms? truly submissive boys, slaves should be proud of who and what they are. btw, your head is so completely in the right place where cocksucking is involved. I imagine that you are a superb cocksucker. with the exception of being rimmed, having my cock sucked is one of my absolute favorite things. I particularly like long sessions that may continue while I do other things, and until I either say “stop” or unload in a sub’s mouth.
I much appreciate your attempts to rephrase my blog’s subtitle. I see what you are getting at, and your suggestions are well constructed. I wrote the subtitle at the time of the blog’s inception in January of this year. as the blog grows and evolves, it may make sense to reconsider the subtitle, so that it is more precise and appropos.
with respect to the TOP slave concept, yes, that is interesting. there were a series of events that led me to become acutely aware of this concept. as mentioned, I had thought for months about my slave fucking me, and subsequent to that I met a master whose slave fucks him routinely, at the master’s command, and later still I met a boy who introduced himself to me as a submissive top, who had a Sir of his own. this all occurred within a space of about six to nine months. you can imagine how enlightening those experiences may have been for me.
I haven’t really written much about it yet, but I groomed my slave to become an Alpha slave, and he has definitely risen to the challenge. I will write more posts that illustrate his Alpha nature in action, but suffice to say that he is and will continue to be such.
with regard to design change, thank you. I too like the now not-so-new look and feel that accompanied my move to WordPress. I chose the design template, and my friend rawTOP set things up for me on his server. note that I have image-based and text ads for pay sites on the right hand side of my blog. those are revenue-generating links, but that is not why I write this blog.
I am a Web professional by day, and am conscious of ADA Web site accessibility issues. I too find the font size for the blog post copy quite small. I will do some research into what changes, if any, can be made to enhance readability without threatening the design’s integrity.
thanks again for the generous comments, and be well.
LSB
My thoughts are: no one can take it up the ass as top and not have the power shift - even a little bit. It is a slippery slope, as the slave will no longer see you in the same light.
spermlover,
I would not rule out the possibility that you are correct.
Stay tuned.
LSB
spermlover & LSB,
If a master subscribes and holds to the historical paradigm of female inferiority to males (and the long-held belief that only men enjoyed the act of sex and that women did it only as “their duty” as a wife & for reproduction), then his slave will pick up on that and hold that construct too.
In such case, I agree, you’re absolutely right…and would argue further that, in fact, then ANY “receptive” act (not just ‘taking it up the ass’ but ’sucking his sub’s cock’ as well) changes the sub’s view and affects a power shift. But I bet the power shift you’re thinking of is not the one I’m thinking of.
First, since communication is shared meaning, I don’t subscribe to men are superior view just because that’s the way it has always been. It’s bananas and passionfruit, one can’t compare. Even (if not especially) among gay men, the deepest emotional bonds in their life is often a complex (albeit non-sexual) relationship of unconditional love with a woman: The one that brought him into this world.
Second, I don’t subscribe necessarily to the notion that that Dom=Top and Sub=Bottom as it, too, is really nothing more than an extension of the male/female paradigm of the kind that can’t conceive of the possibility of a female orgasm! Dom/Sub is about power, and rests between the ears and in the heart. Top/Bottom is somehow an archaic view that is about pleasure, that there is only so much to go around and therefore the Top gets pleasure and the bottom (or woman) doesn’t. How hot is it for a top to see a bottom gag, or wince initially just as poppers help him to relax? It fuels the thought of both dom and top getting pleasure at the expense of the sub.
News flash! Sucking cock can be IMMENSELY pleasurable, both physically and power-wise. I mean, damn, in sucking cock, one has a man’s most defining masculine body parts totally under control and even at risk. Don’t believe me? Well next time you get sucked, think of an alligator’s jaws snapping shut… and remember that that cocksucker holding your sack literally “has you by the balls.” Likewise, a great fuck by a talented top is better than fucking at times– a secret known by bottoms and suspected by most heterosexual women. As the Greyhound slogan went, “Enjoy!… And leave the driving to us!”
Ut-oh, this challenges the paradigm where Top=Receiving Pleasure coupled with Dom=Power & Worthy of Receiving Pleasure…. and Bottom=Giving Pleasure/receiving none coupled with Sub=No power & not worthy of receiving pleasure (e.g. “being used”).
The shift in power (and power is always shifting btw, but that’s another tangent/topic) is the bottom’s fear that the Top will discover that it’s pleasureable to bottom– threatening the status quo. But even then if one is adamant that top=dom and bottom=sub… just because “that’s the way it is”.
That’s like believing that sub must be younger than a dom, or physically smaller. Some are, some aren’t.
Ever notice how the quiet shy guys can turn out to be the hottest, funnest Top fucks when they relax and feel comfortable enough to take charge?
Or how in-charge, outgoing, extroverted guys can turn out to be the best cocksuckers and hottest bottoms in the sack?
I need to wrap this posting up, but i’ll share i really dig the short-haired, aryan, military look and have had some of the best times of my life in San Diego on weekend get aways. Marines are HOT… but– and maybe this is just my own exception to the rule experience– 99% are total bottoms. Thank God for the Army, Navy, and Air Force boys to mix them with in 3-ways!
Actually, the marines are a part of the navy…which leads to one of the best and truest jokes I’ve heard in my life:
Q: “Why does the Navy have Marines on board their ships?”
A: “Sheep would be too obvious.”
hello just me,
thank you for the thoughtful analysis. points well taken.
oh, and thanks for the closing joke. seems I have neglected to include a military category for my blog, and that’s a shame, because I dig military men.
LSB